That’s the paradox Lori guides parents through: Try to hold your children too close, and you won’t be able to see them for who they are. Give them room to grow, and you just might find the intimacy you were looking for.
Dear Therapist: I Don’t Understand Why My Son Won’t Talk to Me
My husband and I live close to him, but he rarely visits us.
Dear Therapist: I’m So Upset by My Kids’ Middle-School Drama
I’m not sure why I’m reacting so strongly to hearing about conflicts at school.
Dear Therapist: I Am a Single Man. My Daughter’s Friends Aren’t Allowed to Visit My House.
I have extended a standing invitation to her friends to visit for playdates or sleepovers, but none has ever come.
Dear Therapist: My Son Has an Impractical, Ridiculous Career Plan
He wants to be a stand-up comedian. I don’t want him living in my basement at age 35.
Dear Therapist: I’m Worried the College-Admissions Process Is Rigged Against My Son
He has grades and test scores that I think should qualify him for the Ivy League—but he’s also white and upper-middle-class.
Dear Therapist: I’m Scared of Having Kids
I feel a rush of longing when I see a cute baby, but I can’t tell if I’m ready to have one of my own.
Dear Therapist: Should I Give My Adult Children More Money?
They’re both angry at me, and I want to mend our relationship.
Dear Therapist: Is My Middle Child a Monster?
I’m so tired of people seeing only her bad traits.
Dear Therapist: My Daughter Doesn’t Care That I Want Her to Live Closer to Home
I don’t think she truly understands the impact that seeing her only once or twice a year is having on us.
Dear Therapist: My Daughter Moved Back Home and Treats Me Like a Roommate
She’s been bringing a steady stream of men back to my house, and her behavior is testing my patience.
Dear Therapist: Do I Need to Have ‘the Talk’ Again With My Daughter?
She just told me she’s gay. I’ve already talked to her about sex with boys—how do I talk to her about girls?
Dear Therapist: I Love My Trans Daughter, but I’m Still Struggling
I don’t know how to process what I’m going through.
Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let The Atlantic use it—in part or in full—and we may edit it for length and/or clarity.
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