Woman Arrested for Licking $1,800 in Groceries

Life in a pandemic is something none of us have any experience in handling. It’s been rough; can’t even front. It’s no excuse, though, for the level of sheer wilding we’ve seen from certain parts of the population.

CNN reports that 53-year-old Jennifer Walker went to a South Lake Tahoe Safeway, licked multiple pieces of jewelry from the store and put them on her hands before filling her shopping cart with items from the store. The items in her cart were deemed unsellable by the store because, obviously. Walker was arrested and charged with felony vandalism.

This is only the latest story of grocery-related vandalism. Last month, a woman was arrested for coughing on $35,000 worth of groceries. We’ve also seen instances of people licking toiletries and freezer handles to “protest the virus.” 

Y’all, I really can’t with white people right now.

Folks are really dying out here and instead of just sitting at home they decide to engage in being outright dicks. I don’t understand the thought process of both putting yourself at risk of contracting a deadly disease, potentially spreading that disease to others and making it even more difficult for people to get groceries. Like god damn, if there was ever a time to cool it on the headass behavior, it’s right now.

So, to those thinking of coughing on some Pop-Tarts or licking a DVD copy of The Hangover Part II in the $5 bin at Walmart, please, take the advice below.