The Remake Sweepstakes Continue, but Weeeee…Will Always Love Whitney's Version of The Bodyguard the Most

Can we ever just leave a tender moment alone? Apparently not, as news in the cinematic streets is that yet another of our nostalgic faves is one step closer to getting its long-rumored reboot.

Variety reports a screenwriter has been hired to craft a “reimagining” of Whitney Houston’s debut film, The Bodyguard. Produced by Warner Bros. in 1992 (yes, that makes us feel old as hell, too), the studio has decided they want that old thing back, enlisting Tony-nominated playwright Matthew López (The Inheritance) to rework the opposites-attract romance for a new generation. (Yep, that makes us feel even older.) And as much as we loathe the idea, we can’t entirely blame them, since, as Variety notes: “The original grossed more than $400 million at the worldwide box office and has what is considered the bestselling movie soundtrack of all time, with several chart-topping original songs from Houston.”

Yes, we know, we know…the biggest hit from that soundtrack, the iconic “I Will Always Love You,” was also a remake, penned by the equally iconic Dolly Parton. (Still, we said what we said.) On that note, the film’s original writer-producer, Lawrence Kasdan of Kasdan Pictures, is also returning, teaming up with Dan Lin, who has been attached to a potential reboot since 2011, and Jonathan Eirich of Rideback. Rideback’s Nick Reynolds will serve as executive producer of the new version.

No word on whether past co-producer and co-star Kevin Costner will also reenter the chat—but who, pray tell, can possibly replicate the combination of incandescent beauty and incredible vocals provided by the late, great Whitney Thee Houston? Variety lists a bevy of contemporary stars who’ve been considered, including “combos from Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson to Channing Tatum and Cardi B.” (We love y’all, but no and NO, please.) While no names have been attached to Lopez’s script yet, this travesty is no doubt coming to the big (and small) screen whether we like it or not, so who would you suggest?

Is this a potential big screen debut for Chlöe? Normani? Can we throw a Kelly Rowland in the mix, since we know she’s been hitting them Whitney notes since the first film was out? Maybe a Jazmine Sullivan, to tell Costner’s stand-in to pick up his feelings before he carries her offstage mid-performance? Do Lizzo and Chris Evans need to take their online chemistry to the silver screen? Give us your suggestions in the comments.