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March 11, 2024
No matter how successful we are in business, life can, without our permission, drop a bombshell that we never saw coming or could have been prepared for.
Originally Published May 27, 2015.
No matter how successful we are in business, life can, without our permission, drop a bombshell that we never saw coming or could have been prepared for.
Renee Hornbuckle thought she was ready, equipped, and prepared for practically anything. Through the lenses of many, she was considered “successful” from the external side of things: successful marriage, thriving ministry, fruitful relationships, and lucrative business. But her house of cards came tumbling down after a jolting scandal broke that her then-husband and pastor was facing multiple allegations of narcotics possession and gross sexual misconduct. Paralyzed with a real-life scandal that included shame, suffering, and sorrow, not to mention the spiraling loss of finances, relationships, and possessions. Hornbuckle had to choose to either rise above her crisis or collapse into it.
Hornbuckle now serves as a crisis intervention strategist and CEO of Insight Development Strategists to share experiential wisdom in confronting, managing, and overcoming crises. The woman of faith, who has written several books, including Sustained and Suffering in Silence, has an executive career that spans 30 years in strategic management, organizational leadership, crisis intervention, analytic capability, staff training, development, and mentorship.
“Troubles don’t ever come at a convenient time,” she says. “They actually tend to come at times of inconvenience, as an interruption when we least expect it. The truth is that as much as we desire for things to be just right in life, there will be troubles and unpredictable adversity. The bigger question becomes, will you be ready?”
When you are faced with a crisis or suffer loss, recognize that there are three phases in the experience: Shock, acceptance, and adjustment. Hornbuckle shares the following practical crisis coping list to empower you through the process to a healthy, functional, and rational recovery:
Focus only on what’s important. Take it one hour, day, or even moment at a time.
Get enough sleep and rest your body and mind. If you are exhausted, you won’t be able to process information effectively to make smart decisions.
Try to maintain some type of normal routine as best as possible. This is of utmost importance if you have children. Their daily routines should continue as best as possible.
Remember that regular exercise helps relieve stress and tension. Even if it’s just a walk or relaxation exercises.
Eat a balanced diet. Limit high-calorie and junk food. Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water.
Avoid consuming alcohol, medications, or other drugs in excess to mask the pain. Once the effects of alcohol and drugs wear off, you still have to face the facts!
Find the right sources to talk to, especially those who have lived through and survived similar experiences. Make sure they are individuals who have the capacity to comfort, sustain, and recharge you.
Don’t be ashamed to consult a licensed professional or speak with your pastor or trusted counselor.
Give yourself time and permission to heal. You will have some challenging days, and that’s perfectly alright. Just don’t let these temporary challenges begin to paralyze you.
Do something you enjoy: Journal, paint, cook, travel, and spend quality time with family and friends to relax, unwind, and refresh.
Remember the coping skills you have used to survive former losses. Draw upon these inner strengths again.
Written by Roz A. Gee
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