Dear Therapist’s Guide to Love and Relationships

Talking honestly and openly won’t necessarily save a troubled relationship, but doing so can clarify whether one can and should be saved. Communicating, in this sense, is a process of both connection and self-discovery.

In the four columns I’ve selected below, Lori coaches readers in the conversations they need to have to get through tough situations. My hope is that these examples can be models for anyone needing, in this time of pandemic isolation, to feel closer to a partner or a friend or family member, as certainly this advice is not relevant only to those in romantic relationships. Because when communication works, it connects—and that connection to another human fulfills us and lifts us.

Dear Therapist: I’m Afraid My Boyfriend’s Sexuality Will End Our Relationship

He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay.

Dear Therapist: My Husband and I Don’t Have Sex Anymore

I miss the closeness we had before our baby was born.

Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend Loves Me, but He’s Not Affectionate Enough

I’m tired of feeling like I’m putting more effort into our relationship than he is.

Dear Therapist: I’m Having an Affair and I’ve Never Been Happier. Should I Confess?

I feel incredibly guilty and am worried that if we come clean, we will lose the respect of our children and become pariahs in our community.

Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let The Atlantic use it—in part or in full—and we may edit it for length and/or clarity.