Eric Trump Is the Dumbest Trump. Tiffany Trump: Hold My Bud Light Lime-A-Rita

Before polling began, America would have assumed that Eric Trump was the dumbest Trump. But a new poll from “Fuck these kids” has found that Tiffany Trump is surging in Southern states and places where white people wear shorts all year round despite the weather.

Like the human embodiment of pajama pants with some suggestive writing across the ass, Tiffany Trump—the youngest daughter of Donald Trump—spoke at a Trump Pride event, which looked like it was attended by some 14 people, in Florida. Because nothing says meth, stringy beach hair and we ain’t wearing no masks like Florida.

Newsweek notes that the event took place at Westshore Grand Hotel in Florida and a clip from Tiffany’s speech made the rounds on social media. Tiffany started off strong, completely mislabeling the community she was speaking to.

“I know what my father believes in. Prior to politics, he supported gays, lesbians, the LGBQIIA+ community,” Tiffany said in the 10-minute speech, in which she claimed that the president’s image has been ruined by “fabricated lies” and social media.

She added: “It saddens me. I have friends of mine who reach out and they say ‘How could you support your father? We know your best friends are gay.’”

On a second attempt, Tiffany, 27, managed to only include one “I” as she slurred “LGBQIIA+,” but is she specifically leaving out the “T,” which stands for “trans?” Methinks not. See, the president has a history of rolling back or completely fucking overlooking gay rights, including trying to ban transgender people from joining the military over Twitter. In fact, here’s a full list of all of the fuckery the Trump administration has pulled since taking over the White House.

Newsweek notes that Marla Maples, Trump’s second ex-wife and mother of his less-talked-about daughter, was in attendance to see Tiffany cringey-talk about AIDS during her speech.

“Unfortunately, one of [Maples’] best friends passed away from AIDS and what I think is so powerful when my father says there will be a cure for AIDS within the next 10 years, there will be and God bless,” Tiffany said.

Tiffany then suffered a good Twitter beating and rightfully so. While I didn’t do an official study, I can say that at first glance, the digs seem to fall into one of three categories:

The first is that Tiffany was on a substance that Don Jr. and his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle have also been accused of being on. It’s cocaine. Tiffany was accused of being on cocaine. There, I said it.

The second was that Tiffany was drunk:

The third was a hodgepodge of comments that ranged from Tiffany is a space cadet to violence: