Governors Ban Together to Defeat ‘King’ Donald Trump

Everyone is tired of King Joffrey Baratheon’s shit.

The American people. Dr. Anthony Fauci. The press. And now many of the governors.

On Monday, with America still reeling from the impact of the coronavirus and many without jobs waiting on a stimulus check like a child waiting for an alcoholic dad to come pick them up for his weekend, the president thought that now would be the perfect time to make and a share propaganda video, which he unveiled during his coronavirus press briefing.

King Joffrey Baratheon of the House of White then unleashed a full tantrum on the press, claiming that they weren’t giving him enough credit for having done “everything right!” Then, as if he were speaking only to the Republican members of Congress, he claimed that his “authority is total” when ordering states to reopen.

“His warning came as two blocs of Eastern and Western hot-spot states banded together in an implied challenge to his vow to get people back to work soon, setting off a brewing confrontation over the power of the federal government,” CNN reports.

After showing his SoundCloud rapper video full of campaign folklore about how he’s been right from the very beginning of this pandemic, he then walked to the podium to offer America nothing. Not one new piece of advice. Not one bit of hope on how we are going to get through this thing. He offered nothing but whiny orange spray-painted bullshit.

Wait, that isn’t true, he did offer more lies. He claimed that the country would open up ahead of schedule and that many states have either passed or are approaching their peak infection rates. He then tried to bully America into believing that we’d be getting back to normal soon and implied that “shops, schools and restaurants closed by governors and mayors,” would be opening soon.

When reporters called bullshit, the president shot back: “The President of the United States calls the shots,” CNN reports.

CNN correspondent Kaitlan Collins wanted all the smoke, asking the president, “You said when someone is president of the United States their authority is total. That is not true. Who told you that?”

The president then did what most children do when they are called out on the rules of the game; he changed the rules. When Collins went to follow up, he shot her down with a finger point and “Enough!” Collins should’ve called him a bitch. God, I wish she would’ve called him a bitch.

The campaign rally was so insane that CNN and MSNBC shut that shit down. They literally stopped airing the president’s briefing because they are a news station and don’t have the authorization to broadcast an interview with a pro-wrestler whose character is based on being an idiot masquerading as a president.

Democratic New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who doesn’t play around with Trump’s fuckshit, said the president doesn’t have that power and he needs to stop faking like he does.

“We don’t have a king. We have an elected president,” Cuomo said during an interview with CNN’s Erin Burnett. “The Constitution clearly says the powers that are not specifically listed for the federal government are reserved for the states, and the bounds between federal and state authority are central to the Constitution—one of the great balances of power.”

The Founding Fathers “didn’t want a king, otherwise we would have had King George Washington,” Cuomo added.

Cuomo is right, but did anyone tell King Joffrey this?