Here's Some Books I Love So Much That I Hate the Authors of Them

Book: Heavy

Author: Kiese Laymon.

Why I hated that nigga for like three hours: Wrote about that already. Don’t want to re-write it and start hating that nigga again.

Book: I’m Telling the Truth, But I’m Lying

Author: Bassey Ikpi

Why I was like “Man, fuck Bassey” for a day: I thought I was all vulnerable and transparent about anxiety and shit in my book, but Bassey went deeper with it and wrote with a precision and rhythm that I still hate on. She also can’t fight.

Book: Friday Black

Author: Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah

Why I was like “If I see this nigga, I’m gonna trip him.”: Cause he’s like 13 years old and wrote this brilliant-ass book. (He’s actually like 28, but still.) Also I’m taller than most author niggas, but he’s slightly taller than me. Hate.

Book: We Are Never Meeting in Real Life

Author: Samantha Irby

Why I blocked her ass on IG for seven days: I consider my book to be, more than anything else, a humor book. I am proud of the levity and absurdity in it. But then Sam’s book comes through like “Oh, you think you’re funny, huh? That’s cute,” and crushes my buildings. Fuck her.

Book: Heads of the Colored People

Author: Nafissa Thompson-Spires

Why I leave anonymous one star reviews of her book on Goodreads: I thought I had the corner on dark and funny class and race shit. I thought that was just my bag. But it’s her bag. I’m just carrying it. I’m going to throw that bag in a pond now.

Book: They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us

Author: Hanif Abdurraqib

Why I hated that nigga so much that I started hating Ohio, too: There’s a passage towards the end of “The Weeknd And The Future Of Loveless Sex” that’s better than anything I’ll ever write about love, longing, and sex. I also believe he has more sneakers than I do. But his are ugly.