Pon De Re-Plate: Rihanna’s Coming Out With a Cookbook Instead of an Album Soon, and No I’m Not Crying About It, You Are

Look. Because I don’t want Rih to cuss me out if she happens upon this article, let me first start by saying how overjoyed I am to learn that my favorite bad gal is coming out with a cookbook.

Speaking with British magazine Closer, the “Love On the Brain” artist divulged that she was inspired because of all the time spent in the kitchen over the quarantine and that she is, indeed, working on a cookbook. She went on to express how much she “loves food from her Barbadian roots and eats a lot of fresh fish,” but still indulges in some comfort food like “mac n’ cheese, Shepherd’s pie, and rum punch.” (Who doesn’t love rum punch and mac n’ cheese, though? Maybe not consumed at the same time but separately? They both slap.) Rihanna also noted that the forthcoming cookbook will be filled with some of her favorite Caribbean recipes that remind her of home.

As far as the new album, Rih made it very clear to the magazine that she is “always working” on her music. But she didn’t give any more details other than that (if you can even call that a detail.That’s not a detail, that’s like a “ask me again about this damn album. Go ahead, ask me.”) But you know? Between you and me, I think I’m just going to stop expecting things from Rihanna. And when I say “things,” I mean musical things. We’ve gotten everything we never asked for from her since ANTI dropped: Fenty Beauty, Fenty Skin, Fenty luxury fashion, Savage x Fenty. And while I’m glad to see the Fenty empire continue to expand, I’d be lying if I said my ears weren’t ready for some new sounds. But as we all well know by now, Rihanna gon’ do what Rihanna wants to do. And we’d just be wasting our breath in trying to convince her to do otherwise.

I am curious, though, as to what she’ll call this cookbook. Fenty Cooking? Recipes by Rih? Good Girl Gone Cooking? Must Be Caribbean Cuisine on the Brain? Ehh, that last one’s iffy. Knowing Rih, I’m sure she’ll think of something. Meanwhile, I’ll try to work my new supernatural powers to teleport me into her kitchen so we can have a heart to heart about this album.

(Please don’t kick me out, Rih. I come in peace.)