Real Spooky Hours In This Week’s Good-Ass Games at Good-Ass Prices

It’s October, which means two things in my household: Blade II on repeat and scary-ass games. I figure I should probably take a break from Blade II to put you on some spooky-ass games at some good-ass prices, because, you know, it’s kind of my job.

Alien: Isolation (PS4/Xbox One), $7.99/PS4; Free w/Xbox Game Pass

This game came out six years ago and is still capable of scaring the hell out of me. I’ve been a huge fan of the Alien movies since I was an itty-bitty 12-year-old and this is easily my favorite game in the franchise outside of Aliens versus Predator 2 from way back in the day.

Remember Aliens versus Predator 2? I miss those games.

Anyway, this game is a first-person survival horror game that places you in the boots of Amanda Ripley, daughter of Ellen Ripley, the protagonist of the original Alien movies. A space station reports that it has found the flight recorder data for the Nostromo, the ship on which Amanda’s mother went missing following the events of the first film, so Ripley and her crew go to check it out.

Of course, once you get there you find a Xenomorph is up in that bitch so you have to sneak around the space station, and try not to get your face bitten off by the alien. This game is hard, but it’s an incredible recreation of the aesthetics and tone of the first Alien, completely nailing that iconic blend of sci-fi and horror.

At only eight bucks, too? I’m just saying, it’s a Friday, folks.

You could watch Blade II, follow it up with this, and have you a lean night.

Twisted Metal: Black (PS4), $4.99

It’s not “technically” a horror game, but Sweet Tooth looked creepy as shit in this and my PS2 loving self will never pass up an opportunity to talk about some PS2 games. Twisted Metal: Black was the last entry in the classic era of Twisted Metal games.

Black is a car combat game that allows you to select from a series of drivers who all compete in the Twisted Metal tournament. Whoever wins the tournament gets their—usually quite fucked up—wish granted by the devious Calypso.

Like I said, not “technically” horror, but the premise and execution are quite dark. The aesthetics, which are admittedly quite dated, give the game a lurid, grimy feeling. Whereas Twisted Metal 1-4 were essentially Hot Wheels by way of Death Race, Black just feels dirty. It was one of those games that made me feel like I was getting away with something when I was younger.

The gameplay still holds up in my opinion, in large part because we simply don’t get car combat games of this nature anymore. So if you’re in the mood for some nostalgia, why not play some Twisted Metal: Black before popping on Blade II?

Vanquish/Bayonetta Double Pack (Xbox One), $23.99

On the list of games I won’t shut the fuck up about, Vanquish and Bayonetta are at the top. These are pound for pound, the greatest action games to come out in the last decade.

I already can hear y’all in the comments:

Devil May Cry 5? Yeah, it’s fun.

Dark Souls? I’m sorry I don’t hate myself?

God of War? Just because I have daddy issues doesn’t mean I think it’s the best, jeez.

Look, I’m gonna keep this simple. You’re gonna go on your goddamn Xbox, rent Blade goddamn II, and buy these goddamn games, dammit!

What are they about?

Oh. Well, since you asked-

Bayonetta is an action game that puts you in the gun-heeled shoes of its titular character, who also happens to be an umbral witch. While the story is a little all over the place, the moment to moment action is what keeps you hooked, with the game somehow being a more stylish take on the Devil May Cry-style of action. Also, the witchy nature of the game definitely fits the bill for spooky season.

Vanquish, my favorite action game of all time, is a title that asks the question “what if John Wick had a mech suit?” The thing about action games is that most of them tend to involve swords, or a more melee-centric approach to combat. Vanquish takes all the style and energy of those games and somehow applies it to a gun. The result is a fast paced, run-and-gun, third-person shooter that till this day shits on all competition.

Now, I already told you what you’re going to do. So if I come into your room, and I don’t see you either watching Blade II or playing Vanquish, we’re going to have some problems.

Understood? Good.

So now that I’m done channeling my mother with that last bit, I will bid you lovely folks adieu. Stay safe this weekend, keep the vibes spooky, and, as always, play more video games.