Russell Wilson Is Playing Out of His Mind, Mitch Trubisky Is Playing Himself Out of the League and Other Takeaways From Week 3 of the NFL

Russell Wilson Is Ballin’

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll has been cheating us out of the best version of Russell Wilson for years. And despite a defense that’s doing the team absolutely no favors—and only got worse with injuries to Jamal Adams (groin) and first-round pick Jordyn Brooks (knee) on Sunday—the Seahawks remain undefeated after staving off the Cowboys 38-31.

The reason for their record is simple: Russell Wilson is ballin’ his ass off.

With an obscene five touchdown passes on Sunday, in addition to 315 yards in the air, Dangeruss set a new NFL record for most TDs in the first three games of the season with 14, beating Patrick Mahomes’ previous record of 13 set in 2008.

He’s also completed almost 77 percent of his passes so far this season and has collected 925 passing yards. If he keeps playing at this historic pace, how is he not the MVP of the league by the end of this season?

Injuries be Damned, the 49ers Are Unstoppable

Who’s gonna be the one to tell the 49ers that they’re supposed to be struggling right now?

Short 10 projected starters on Sunday due to injury, including key ingredients like Nick “MAGA” Bosa, Greg Kittle and Jimmy Garoppolo, the Niners did the same thing they’ve been doing all season—dominate (bad teams).

With backup Nick Mullens under center (he finished with 343 yards and a touchdown), the offense clicked on all cylinders, the defense prevented the Giants from running a single play in the end zone, and coach Kyle Shanahan took great pride in his team prevailing 36-9 despite being short on bodies.

“I just got real good energy and vibe from the guys from Wednesday when we started practicing all the way to last night at the hotel meeting,” Shanahan said after the game. “And then today. I thought they played very hard all four quarters, I was very proud of our team.”

If Carson Wentz remembers that he’s an MVP-caliber quarterback and not whoever the hell has been sabotaging the Eagles all season, Philadelphia could bring the Niners back to Earth next Sunday.

Ladies First

Aside from the Browns posting a winning record for the first time since 2014, there was another major milestone of note on Sunday: for the first time in the history of the NFL, three women took the field.

During the Washington-Cleveland game, Callie Brownson, Browns’ chief of staff; Jennifer King, Washington’s coaching intern and referee Sarah Thomas made history at Cleveland’s FirstEnergy Stadium.

The NFL still has a loooooooooooong way to go in order to address its longstanding issues with diversity and inclusion, but this historic moment was long overdue.

Mitch Trubisky and the Atlanta Falcons Deserve Each Other

I don’t know whose Sunday was worse, so I propose they merge together and form one sovereign nation bereft of expectations and quality football play.

On the same day that Trubisky lost his job to Nick Foles—who, of course, entered the game in the third quarter and rang off three touchdown passes to drag the Bears to an improbable 30-26 comeback victory against the Falcons—Falcons coach Dan Quinn learned that he might want to update his resume.

With the Falcons (0-3) loss on Sunday, Quinn, the same guy who already blew the biggest lead in Super Bowl history, also coached the first team in NFL history to lose back-to-back games after leading by 15 or more points in the fourth quarter. In Week 2, the Cowboys came back from being down 39-24 to escape with a 40-39 win against the lowly Falcons.

“These last two weeks have been nothing short of crushing,” said Quinn, as he updated the keywords in his cover letter.

“It doesn’t get no worse than this,” Falcons defensive end Dante Fowler Jr. said. “We probably found the two worst ways you can lose a football game.”

Pretty much.

Meanwhile, Bears coach Matt Nagy is grateful to God that Chicago is somehow 3-0 despite Trubisky trying everything humanly possible to sabotage his team.

“The only thing I can control is me playing better when I have those reps in the first half, and I didn’t do that,” Trubisky said after the game. “So I gave [Nagy] the opportunity to pull me. He did.”

And I would say, “Don’t expect to see the field again this season,” but Foles has a history of his own of coming back to Earth after stellar play. Please hug every Bears fan you know, because it’s gonna be a long season.