This Ain't What Jesus Died For

“A wise man told me, ‘Don’t argue with fools’
‘Cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who…”

I think Jay-Z was onto something.

While the rest of us went about our rather uneventful Thursdays, five-time world champion Floyd Mayweather had an upcoming exhibition match to promote. So as is customary in these types of things, Mayweather and his opponent, YouTuber Logan Paul, faced off at the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Fla., to fulfill their contractual obligations for a “fight” that nobody asked for.

Per TMZ, after staring each other down, Paul and Pretty Boy Floyd hopped on the mic and exchanged barbs. Mayweather dismissed Paul and his brother, fellow YouTuber Jake Paul, as “two fake fighters,” while Logan returned fire with, “The only thing that’s fake on this stage is Floyd’s fucking hairline.” And when Mayweather got in Logan’s ass about that whole suicide forest fiasco in Japan, Logan was kind enough to remind everyone about Mayweather’s penchant for putting hands on women.

This tense exchange would conclude without any real fireworks, but things soon descended into chaos after Jake confronted the former champion off-stage. As Mayweather was finishing up an interview, Jake got in his face and…well…this happened:

While Money May is universally revered for his footwork and defensive acumen, apparently he’s completely powerless against childish schoolyard antics. So after Jake blurted out “Gotcha hat!” before snatching it off the 44-year-old’s head, Mayweather was a bit perturbed.

Snatching the hat off of one of the greatest boxers in the history of ever has consequences, however, as Jake would escape the melee with his life, but short at least one tooth.

He can also consider that black eye a lovely parting gift.

Now was all of this staged? Probably. But that hasn’t stopped social media from getting its digs in at Mayweather’s expense:

It also hasn’t stopped Jake from assuming his final form as a master troll. In the time since he’s kidney punched Money May in his pride, he’s released a torrent of tweets shitting all over the former champ, dropped “Gotcha Hat” merch, and even got some fresh ink:

He also got his ass banned from even attending his brother’s fight, according to the Daily Mirror:

Matthew Cooper of the Daily Mirror reported Logan delivered the news to Jake in an Instagram story after the fracas.

“They’re not letting you into the fight,” Logan said. “You’re literally banned from the Hard Rock Stadium on June 6.”

Jake replied: “Swipe up, I’ll buy the fight. I don’t care.”

I’m sure Jake will have plenty to say about this on Twitter as well.

I went from completely uninterested in this bout to realizing Mayweather will set Black people back exactly 347 years, 189 days, 42 weeks, and 15 seconds if he loses. So Floyd, please beat this white boy’s ass.

Mayweather and Logan Paul exhibition match is scheduled for June 6 at Hard Rock Stadium. For tickets and info, hit up Fanmio’s website.