Trump’s Meat Heavy Diet Isn’t Playing So Well in India

President Trump hates vegetables more than he hates black people. Fine, he doesn’t hate vegetables that much but he rarely eats them. And it’s understandable after his visit to Willy Wonka’s crib in which he ate a carrot that looked like meat and it tinted his skin orange.

I’m sure one of the president’s aides have smuggled boiled meat for him to gnaw on in the evenings but until then, Indian President Narendra Modi has reportedly planned to serve Trump an all-vegetarian menu.

I’m sure Modi meant no offense when he planned the menu as he’d probably never heard of an adult who didn’t eat vegetables, but he’s never met Trump. Trump and his trash palette are so fucked up that a person close to the president told CNN: “I have never seen him eat a vegetable.”

When a head of state hits town, and his diet consists solely of meat, and you have to make him vegetarian dishes, it’s important that you feed that person beans if for nothing else than hoping he spills the shit all over him so someone can shout: “This nigga eating beans!”

The Independent notes that the campaign group Million Dollar Vegan once challenged Trump to eat vegan for a month and even offered to donate $1 million if the president took the challenge. The group even took out a full-page ad in the New York Times, hoping that the president would take them up on it, but in the end, Trump had no plans of giving up his uncooked goat leg, which soothes him at night.

The president of the United States is a meat eater, which just sounds totally funny, but he is. In fact, his preference for meat is not only well-documented but well criticized. Everyone in America knows that the president likes his steaks the same way that most 6-year-olds do: well done and doused in ketchup.

In fact, Michael Bloomberg, the other rich shitty New Yorker wanting to win the White House, has used the president’s steak murdering as a part of his campaign.

“The Bloomberg campaign recently plastered the Las Vegas strip in billboards mocking Mr. Trump for various of his habits and failings. Among these was one reading ‘Donald Trump eats burnt steak,’ followed by the words ‘Mike Bloomberg likes his medium rare,’” the Independent wrote.

And who can forget the photo of the president on a plane eating a whole bucket of soggy KFC with a knife and fork.

And because President McCheese-Up-in-My-Arteries is a savage garbage bag made of racism, he was also thoroughly clowned for his McDonald’s order, which includes “two Big Macs, two Filet-o-Fishes and a chocolate milkshake.”

While the president doesn’t partake in alcoholic beverages, he does drink enough Diet Coke to bring a small horse down. According to reports, the president consumes some 12 cans of Diet Coke in one day. That’s two six-packs a day.

Let’s just hope for India’s sake that if they do plan on feeding the president an all-vegetarian diet that they make sure he has presidential access to bathrooms because something tells me if he does actually eat a vegetable for the first time in his life, he’s going to need those restrooms and may be in there for a while.