Trump Needs a Safe Space

His normal schedule already consists of “no public activities,” which is helpful, but he will be expecting “state visits” from foreign leaders. This could easily be accomplished. NATO is governed by the principle of collective security—all for one, one for all—and a clearer case for invoking Article 5 can hardly be imagined. Boris Johnson, Emmanuel Macron, Angela Merkel, and others can stop by on a rotating basis. Think of it as “burden-sharing.” With the help of Howard X, the famed Kim Jong Un impersonator, a summit meeting with the North Korean leader could also be arranged.

Real news, of course, cannot be allowed to reach Trump—perhaps a notional concern. Aides can tell him that the “failing” New York Times and the “failing” Washington Post are not being delivered because they have … failed. As for TV, if Fox insists on depicting reality, they can switch the screen to NewsMax or One America News Network. He could still phone in to Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson, who haven’t conceded the election, either. And if he wants to tweet with abandon, then Twitter can grasp a path to redemption, and quietly separate his account from his audience.

Read: Twitter’s next Trump problem

Verisimilitude is important. To recreate the White House environment, a stream of COVID-positive visitors could be invited for meetings, keeping infection levels high. Having familiar faces around—Jared, Ivanka, Melania—is essential. Would they go along with the charade? They need no lessons in complicity—a big plus—but an “all is forgiven” welcome to a future Met Gala might be part of the answer. Mike Pence would be harder to persuade, but the cardboard cutout has been working well for years. Having familiar faces no longer around is also important; the president needs to be able to fire people on a regular basis. And to hire new ones. Firing is easy: His administration would already be gone. But if Hollywood celebrities really want to serve their country, a troupe of performers straight from central casting—John Goodman, Kristin Chenoweth, Bryan Cranston, Anne Hathaway—would stand ready to play their part and bring the idea of “acting secretary” to its logical conclusion.

As time goes on, the Good Bye, Lenin strategy would present challenges. It’s easy to simulate a Presidential Medal of Freedom ceremony (Scott Baio and Roger Stone would definitely accept), harder to explain why an inauguration can’t be held on the Mall (“Being used for spectator overflow from the Biden trial, sir”). But it’s worth a try. With luck, Trump will one day tell us he’s had “the greatest second term in history, with the possible exception of Lincoln’s.”

Cullen Murphy is The Atlantic’s editor at large.