Rudy’s Boy, Lev Parnas, Is Going Full 6ix9ine and the Documents He Gave Up Are Insane

Lev Parnas is ready to tell you why fools fall in love. He knows everything that the lonely do at Christmas and whether T-Pain really brought that girl a drink. Parnas knows whether or not all of the people in the club actually got tipsy and whether or not they committed DUIs later that evening.

If you ever had a conversation with Lev Parnas, be concerned because he’s somewhere with a carton of Kool 100s and a coffee in a styrofoam cup giving it all up.

Following on the heels of CNN’s Chris Cillizza’s piece that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi gambled and lost on the impeachment delay (a take that Cillizza was promptly and rightfully clowned for), the House Intelligence Committee just quietly released a ton of evidence from Rudy Giuliani’s Ukraine fixer, Lev Parnas, and this shit is insane.

Parnas must’ve taken a laxative because he released all the shit. All of it. According to Vox, Parnas’ bevy of treasures included “handwritten notes, copies of text messages, and other correspondence.”

One of Parnas’ notes claimed that Giuliani was acting with President Trump’s “knowledge and consent” in his communications with the Ukrainian government, Vox reports.

Parnas provided proof, including a handwritten note made on Ritz-Carlton hotel stationery that stated that the objective of his Ukraine dealings was to get Ukraine’s president to announce “the Biden case will be investigated.”

From Vox:

The documents also provide the strongest evidence yet that there was a corrupt understanding involving prosecutor general Yuriy Lutsenko (a Ukrainian official in the previous regime). Lutsenko offered to investigate Burisma and the Bidens — and, in exchange, he insisted that US Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch, whom he had clashed with, be fired. He made this quid pro quo clear in his messages to Parnas.

But most disturbing of all is a set of messages Parnas received from a person named Robert F. Hyde, a Republican congressional candidate. Hyde texted Parnas that he had people tracking Yovanovitch’s movements closely in Ukraine. He claimed he could tell whether her phone and computer were off. And he wrote: “If you want her out they need to make contact with security forces.”

Who knows if the messages with Hyde are legit—and I’m not in the mafia, but I know what the hell a hit sounds like, and tracking someone’s movements, noting that if “you want her out” you need to make contact with security forces, sounds a lot like a hit to me.

Which, for the kids in the back of the class writing with fat crayons, means that an American diplomat may have been targeted by her own damn country.

But before we go full tinfoil Kangol and start sounding Alex Jones or worse, the president of the United States knows that Parnas will do anything to save his ass. See, he’s been indicted by the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York on campaign finance law violations after he and his partner, Igor Fruman, donated hundreds of thousands to…wait for it…Republicans in 2018.

All of this is quietly unfolding but just know this: Giuliani is all up in this Ukrainian corruption smoothie and Cillizza’s takes are trash.