Tracee Ellis Ross on Dating: Keep Facts From Fantasy

We love a woman who can keep it all the way real and our girl Tracee Ellis Ross is just the best friend we wish we could gab about life and relationships over a good brunch. The actress recently sat down with Glamour magazine to talk about her dos and don’ts for being a “successful 21st-century woman” and she did not disappoint. For starters, she said, hold your horses before going all in with the new guy you just met.

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“Putting all your eggs in one basket has never worked for me,” she said. “Personally, I find if I decide too quickly that someone is my match, I start to get a little nutty. All of a sudden there’s this expectation that that person is supposed to be perfect. I have to keep in mind that the person I am dating is not meant to satisfy every single one of my needs. It’s more like, What are my top five things? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Empowered? When I leave, do I think, Oh, I should have worn something different? If I feel doubt in myself, it might be time to walk away.”

She also suggested making a list of facts about the person and another list of the fantasies you’ve created about him. “Keeping the facts differentiated from the fantasy is incredibly helpful in gathering your information as you discover if a person is a match for you,” she added.

Ross touched upon body image and accepting that we all look different from each other and will continue to evolve as we grow older.

“My weight fluctuates. I have years where I wear a size 10, and years where I wear a size 4,” she said. “On Girlfriends I kept complaining to the costumer, saying, ‘The cleaners are shrinking all my clothes.’ Finally she said, ‘I know that’s what you keep saying, but I want to be clear with you: Your body has changed, and we need to buy you bigger clothes.’ It took me out for a minute. In the context of our world, sizes 8 and 10 are teeny, but not for Hollywood. I had to ask myself, Do I want to be somebody who worries about what I’m eating? Or do I want to find a balance where I can be healthy and not consumed by that and maybe have to buy some larger pants? I bought new pants.”

Now when it comes to fashion and feeling confident in the skin she’s in, Ross has to admit she grew up with a terrific role model — her mother, Diana Ross.

“I’ve always had a lot of courage in the way I express myself through fashion. Sometimes I want to feel playful, sometimes I want to feel in charge, sometimes I want to feel like I’m from the ’50s,” she said. “My mother and her elegance inspired me — I loved the mystery held in the way she clothed herself.”

To read her entire list of dos and don’ts, click here.

Plus, we caught up with Tracee Ellis Ross at New York Fashion Week — watch below.

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(Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images)