Work-Life Balance Has to Include Friendship

Before I even got my daughter dropped off at school, there was the most specific, complimentary, thoughtful note from Maia. There were voicemails from Mary Clare and another friend. And by the time I got home later, there were flowers, wine, and cookies waiting.

Beck: Has the group ever directly influenced a decision that changed your career or your personal life?

Lindsay: So many. Every major professional turning point we’ve had, we look to each other. And when we doubt our parenting skills. I have two kids with learning disabilities, and my son has a physical disability, and it’s been a fricking journey. Sometimes it’s helpful just to be like, “Guys, I feel really bad at this.” The group is helpful in not just saying, “What are you talking about? You’re great.” They’ll ask, “What’s hardest right now?” Or, “What’s within your control?” The beauty of this group is to be incredibly empathetic, but also to give each other the space to think.

Maia: When I went from a full-time big job to being a full-time entrepreneur, I consulted with the WoMos every step of the way. Then, when the pandemic started, I was paralyzed. My business has been gathering large groups of people, running workshops. I’m like, “Oh, my God, my life’s work. I’m going to go bankrupt.”

Mary Clare, I don’t know if I ever officially thanked you for this, but on the text chain, you were like “Maia, you need to be writing about this. The schools just closed.” And that spurred me to get off my butt and start writing. That was huge. Mary Clare, thank you.

Mary Clare: You’re sweet. You pivoted an entire business in the matter of days, but yeah, I’ll take credit for it.

Beck: Often when people talk about work-life balance, what they mean by the “life” part is family life. What is the role of friendship in work-life balance?

Lindsay: That’s part of why we created this group. We’re able to be our fully vulnerable, type-A selves with people who get us in a way that your partner or your kids may not. I think the reason my husband sent out the bat signal was that he was fully secure in saying, “She needs something different right now.”

Mary Clare: The emotional support that we get from each other helps us have a better work-life balance. It takes pressure off of my husband. He doesn’t have to provide all the emotional support. My mom always emphasized to me how important your girlfriends are. She really relied on them more than her marriage. We all protect [our time together]. We put it on our work calendars. We make sure our partners, our families know that we need WoMo time.

Maia: It’s a space where we’re whole people, and not just, the CEO of this, or the mom of these kids. You two are some of the only people who see me as the whole Maia.

Lindsay: That work-family dichotomy… We found each other on the premise that it’s bullshit that we have to choose. We didn’t want to believe that we’ve got to be the superstar top leader in the world, and perfect parents—and so, therefore, nothing else can fit. This group of friends wanted to find another way.

If you or someone you know should be featured on The Friendship Files, get in touch at friendshipfiles@theatlantic.com, and tell us a bit about what makes the friendship unique.